On Feb 17, 12:37 am, "projectile vomit chick"
<projectilevomitch...@netzero.com> wrote:
> On Feb 16, 5:32 pm, Zynnoushes <s...@wicked.net> wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
> > projectile vomit chick wrote:
> > > On Feb 15, 10:36 pm, Zynnoushes <s...@wicked.net> wrote:
>
> > >>projectile vomit chick wrote:
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> > >>>On Feb 15, 5:42 pm, Zynnoushes <s...@wicked.net> wrote:
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> > >>>>projectile vomit chick wrote:
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> > >>>>>On Feb 14, 12:05 am, Zynnoushes <s...@wicked.net> wrote:
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> > >>>>>>justify, dont you die
>
> > >>>>>damnit i haven't listened to that since i quit drinking!
>
> > >>>>i had ita blasting on my big sounda system the other day whilist doing
> > >>>>dishes n junk...sounded good
>
> > >>>i've been listening to nebraska public radio during the day....my cats
> > >>>dig chopin.
>
> > >>LOL... THIS IS NPR....
>
> > > I used to like getting drunk and listening to Garrison Keillor on
> > > Sunday afternoons, ranting about Lutherans and Hotdish.
>
> > LOL. This week in the studio we are joined by our guest PVC...
>
> it was a lot more fun before ronald reagan....his reaganomics really
> blew my mind lol- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -
Vote Bob for President! If you vote for me you can expect dramatic
changes. Heres just a sample. God Bless America!
1. The motorcade will be expanded to include tanks,a marching
band,juggling clowns,fire eating midgets,and platform trucks filled
with strippers doin thear thang.
2. Afternoon naps in every workplace will be mandatory by law,and
workers will be able to take up to 3 weeks hangover time a year.
3. Taxes on gasoline,ciggretts,and liquor will be eliminated in favor
of a prohibitive new 200,000 percent tariff on cat food.
4. The Bureau of Alcohol,Tabacco,and Firearms will be reorganized and
be given a new bold mission:to make sure that every American gets all
the alcohol,tabacco,and firearms he damn well wants!
5.Last call will be abolished. Liquor licensees must stay open 24
hours or forfeit their license and the rest of their booze to my
administration.
6. Smoking marijuana will remain illegal,but the penalty will be
reduced: The arresting officer will karate chop his open palm
alongside the offender's face as if running down a hallway...then stop
and bring up one palm ,simulating an approaching wall. Then they are
free to go.
7.All presidential speeches will pause for a 15 minute intermission
with monkeys on rollerskates
8. When pleadng a traffic ticket 'the cop was a real dick' will count
as a valid defense.
9. To be eligible for foreign aid,a country will have to give up it's
officail language in favor of English and declare ketchup it's
national condiment
10. OUT:Lethal Injection IN: being chained to a giant wheel,smeared
with entrails,and torn apart by a pack of wild dingos
DISCLAIMER: I found these plus others in an old notebook I found in a
pile I was going through. I did not write all of these but can't give
credit where deserved as I do not know who did. I'm sure I midified
and compleatly invented quite a bit of them and did again as I typed
them here...so it's as good as mine anyhow! 1 or 2 on here I thought
would strike some of you ALSers as funny!
--
-Bob
